This week (or really the last couple of weeks) have been really hard on me. I believe I last left off having been to the MedCheck once and having the doctor tell me that I was fine-ish, just needed some rest. I stayed home for a day and thought that I was feeling a little better.
But then, this cough hit. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk sometimes without going into terrible coughing spasms. I actually started taking cough drops. I have NEVER in my life been able to stomach a cough drop. I was eating them by the bag and adding them into my calories for the day. Then, I read the "dosage" of cough drops. One every two hours. OH. That's not good. I was consuming far more than that. I decided to go back to the doctor.
Good news. I wasn't crazy. There really was something wrong with me. (Although "allergy induced bronchitis" sounds really fake to me.) Regardless, they acknowledged that I couldn't breathe and something needed to be done. I got a breathing treatment in the office, a prescription for Prednisone and some "good" cough medicine that was going to allow me to sleep at night. I was excited. I was going to get better!
Sort of. The breathing treatment helped for a bit. The Prednisone helped (although I was still only breathing at what felt like 85% or so). The cough medicine was a) the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted and b) helped I guess. I don't know what it would have been like without it, so I suppose that I will trust that it was doing it's job. Here's the issue. The Prednisone made me gain weight. This was NOT good for my psyche. I started the week a mere 4 pounds away from my 1st goal. I am now 8 pounds away from this goal. I know it didn't help that my family was in town and I made some terrible food choices over the weekend, but I think that was partly spurred on by the previous weight gain and a "who cares" kind of attitude. It was BAD.
I have some major body image issues. I FEEL fatter now than I did 50 pounds ago. I can literally feel my fat oozing over the sides of my pants even if it is not. (Now I sound like a total nut job, right?) But, I'm working on it. We bought the treadmill today. Even thought I am not fully recovered, I actually ran on it tonight.
Dude. Really hard. Couldn't breathe for a good while. Had many coughing fits, but kept going. I did decide to stop after 2 miles, even thought my original plan was 3. On the bright side, the running part wasn't the hard part. It was the breathing part, which is mostly unrelated to the running. I like the treadmill and think that I will use it often and am feeling motivated to become a "runner" again. (Was I ever a runner? That's probably up for debate.)
So, I guess that's it. I'm not posting a weight update because it's too depressing for me right now. The size 12 pants I just got to buy last weekend are questionably fitting, but I'm hopeful that by this weekend, they will be good again.
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