The thing is, I'm not really even teaching right now. I'm sort of watching someone teach and doing lots of secretarial stuff. I know that will change and that is what scares me. I get exhausted WATCHING someone teach and typing on my computer?! What the heck am I going to do when he wants me to take half the class?
I haven't been swollen prior to this and now my toes are like sausages and I can barely make a fist. (This is not ALL the time; it does go down, but still...) Yeah.
On top of the pregnancy stuff, I'm in a seriously weird position. I'm "transitioning" this guy to do my job, but he teaches much differently than I do, which is not bad, but it's strange to sit back and watch someone do your job completely differently than you would do it. Additionally, everyone thinks (well, not the kids so much - not that they don't like him, they just aren't as enamored as the administration) he is REALLY great. He's promising big things that I'm not sure can be accomplished in the amount of time he has. The kids think that all of this stuff is going to happen soon and I think he means that these things will be achieved in 10 years. Plus, I think it's crappy that I have to sit and "help" him teach and then do all the paperwork stuff when he gets to sit around and think about the program. I dunno. I just kind of want it to be done.
Maybe I'm just jealous and bitter because he might do a better job than me. I don't know. I suppose only time will tell. It's just emotionally and physically hard right now.
1 comment:
I can't imagine how hard it must be to reliquish control like that. I often dream of going back to the health department and trying to work side by side with my replacement; it never works in my dream.
Maybe your replacement will do well. Remember that you started it, if it does do well, either in this year or 10, that's only because you built a good strong foundation for him to build upon.
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