Sunday, March 25, 2012

A Rough Week

This week (or really the last couple of weeks) have been really hard on me.  I believe I last left off having been to the MedCheck once and having the doctor tell me that I was fine-ish, just needed some rest. I stayed home for a day and thought that I was feeling a little better.

But then, this cough hit.  I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't talk sometimes without going into terrible coughing spasms.  I actually started taking cough drops.  I have NEVER in my life been able to stomach a cough drop.  I was eating them by the bag and adding them into my calories for the day.  Then, I read the "dosage" of cough drops.  One every two hours.  OH.  That's not good.  I was consuming far more than that. I decided to go back to the doctor.

Good news.  I wasn't crazy.  There really was something wrong with me.  (Although "allergy induced bronchitis" sounds really fake to me.)  Regardless, they acknowledged that I couldn't breathe and something needed to be done.  I got a breathing treatment in the office, a prescription for Prednisone and some "good" cough medicine that was going to allow me to sleep at night.  I was excited.  I was going to get better!

Sort of.  The breathing treatment helped for a bit.  The Prednisone helped (although I was still only breathing at what felt like 85% or so).  The cough medicine was a) the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted and b) helped I guess.  I don't know what it would have been like without it, so I suppose that I will trust that it was doing it's job.  Here's the issue.  The Prednisone made me gain weight.  This was NOT good for my psyche.  I started the week a mere 4 pounds away from my 1st goal.  I am now 8 pounds away from this goal.  I know it didn't help that my family was in town and I made some terrible food choices over the weekend, but I think that was partly spurred on by the previous weight gain and a "who cares" kind of attitude.  It was BAD.

I have some major body image issues.  I FEEL fatter now than I did 50 pounds ago.  I can literally feel my fat oozing over the sides of my pants even if it is not.  (Now I sound like a total nut job, right?)  But, I'm working on it.  We bought the treadmill today. Even thought I am not fully recovered, I actually ran on it tonight.

Dude.  Really hard.  Couldn't breathe for a good while.  Had many coughing fits, but kept going.  I did decide to stop after 2 miles, even thought my original plan was 3. On the bright side, the running part wasn't the hard part.  It was the breathing part, which is mostly unrelated to the running.  I like the treadmill and think that I will use it often and am feeling motivated to become a "runner" again.  (Was I ever a runner?  That's probably up for debate.)

So, I guess that's it.  I'm not posting a weight update because it's too depressing for me right now.  The size 12 pants I just got to buy last weekend are questionably fitting, but I'm hopeful that by this weekend, they will be good again.

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