Cute pic first: Parker got an Exersaucer from her Grandma and Grandpa Sharp for Christmas. She loves it. When we finally got it together she was being a super-fuss, but we decided to try it anyway. There weren't even any toys on it yet, but we set her in it and her face literally went instantly from crying to confusion to happiness! Below she stares intently at the flower. (She really likes things with good eyes - the flower has eyes!)
Okay now for the poor me session......Things I don't like about working:
1) I have to leave Parker. There is extreme guilt, paranoia and sadness that comes with this daily.
2) I don't really know what she does during the day. I do talk to Lauren, but I don't know EXACTLY what she did and I hate that.
3) We have all these awesome toys and she doesn't get to play with them during the day.
4) I only get to spend a few hours a day with her.
5) I can't get anything done around the house because I come home, spend time with Parker, put her to bed and by then it's like 8:15 and I still have to work out (which hasn't been going so well this week - see number 7) and get all her stuff ready for tomorrow. So at around 9pm, I just don't feel like putting the rest of the Christmas decorations away. I feel like my mother!
6) She is growing and changing so fast - I hate to think that Lauren will get to see her do things for the first time instead of me.
7) It makes it so much harder to lose weight. I have been involved in a weight loss challenge with my family. I won the first "round" having lost 14 lbs between the beginning of November and Christmas ( I have since gained back 2 of those I think) and I was excited to start up again and hopefully soon hit the 20lbs mark. It has not been easy trying to do this while working with a baby. When I get home, I want to spend time with Parker, not work out. After all, I only get like 3 hours a day with her some days. So, I have been trying to do it after I put her to bed. Who feels like working out at 8:15 at night? Not me. So, this week has been kind of pathetic with the work-outs. I'm not sure that I will do so well with the weight loss this time around.
8) I am super paranoid that she is going to forget who her mommy is. I know that doesn't make any sense. She knows Alicia and she has been working almost the entire time.
9)I miss spending the whole day with her. I miss sitting her on the counter in her seat and singing silly songs while I unload the dishwasher. I miss reading to her. I miss her waking up from a nap, seeing me and breaking out in a huge grin. I even miss forcing her to do tummy time. (I swear the kid is never going to move since she refuses to lay on her stomach without wailing.)
10) Oh - right - my job. I hate my job. That just makes everything a little bit worse. I feel like it's a waste of time. As a result of our stupid schedule, I literally teach a dozen or so kids a day. For example, today I will start (at 10:30) with a class of 7, break until 1:00 when I will have a class of 3. I should then have my afterschool class of 11, but it's Friday and they don't come on regular days let alone a Friday, so we cancelled Friday practices. Seriously - a big waste of time. I know I shouldn't complain because I get paid to do this non-job, but for every minute I sit here not doing much of anything (trying to motivate myself to really actually prep for teaching 2 kids) I think that I could be with my baby.
On the bright side - it's Friday. I get to go home at 2:30 and I don't have to come back and leave Parker for 2 whole days.
And since my stupid school computer won't post blogs - I'm just now posting this - at 8:30pm. Sigh.
5 comments:
Hey! Have you ever looked at liveops.com or alpineaccess.com? THey are both work from home things that I've done in the past.
Parker is so cute...
Thanks for the info Brenda. I will definitely check into those things. Congrats on your pregnancy! It's the best thing ever (well maybe not the vomiting and such, but hopefully, you aren't experiencing that!)
I feel you sister! I do like my job, most of the time, but since Sadie is now consistently getting up early, she is also going to bed early. I'm really worried now because I normally go to water aerobics on Monday and Wednesday nights from 8 - 9 pm. She's been going to bed around 7:30, but sometimes not until 8:30 and I'm worried about how me leaving will effect her ability to sleep, plus that's more time away from her. I can't even stand to think that our next big break together won't come until the first week of April! That seems SOOOOO far away!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.
Parker looks so much older in this picture!
I actually got a little teary reading this. These are things that ALL working mommies hate (with the possible exception of #10). I sympathize 100%.
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