Apparently, no on in my period 5 class wants to show up today. Whatever. Free period for me! Woo-hoo! (There are really only two kids and I think they are both on one kind of suspension or another - great class, huh?)
I am really tired today. The music director at Alicia's school is away at a conference and I said that I would cover his pep band games for him this week (Wednesday, Friday and Saturday) I had forgotten how exhausting "real" teaching can be. For the last two years at this job, my schedule has been so awful that my classes have only a handful of kids in them and while I suppose that what we do can be considered "real," it certainly does not take the same amount of energy that it does to keep the attention of a larger group of students. It's been quite awhile since I have stood in front of an ensemble and had to give out as much energy as I want them to give back, collectively!
Overall, the game went well. The girls won, the kids played pretty well, given the situation. My dillemma is now that, although I had fun, I really missed Parker. This week has been awful for seeing her. I had the BGB Tuesday night, basketball Wednesday and I have basketball again Friday and Saturday. I feel like a horrible mother and am really sad that I am just missing all this time. Part of me keeps telling myself that next year should be better because I will probably be able to be home with her 2.5 days of the week, so when I do stuff like this I will have been with her all day first, thus making it a little easier. Then the other part of me speaks up and says that she will be a year old by then and I will have missed all the "baby" time. It makes me sad. I suppose that nothing can really change right now. I have committed to various things and therefore have to do them. I should just learn to say, "no." In the meantime, I guess I am just tired and missing my baby. At least it's a three day weekend.
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